What Was Wrong With Swiping - Trevor Moore

We don’t have a lot of time in this place

A couple rotations as we’re spinning through space

Life is short, that’s the blessing and curse

When you’re gone did you leave it better or worse?

Through your live or your ideas or your work or your art

Every single one of us does play a part

But there’s only one for whom this song I sing

And it’s the guy who invented those credit card chip reader things

Fuck you and your family

You fucking son of a bitch, eat shit and die

We were doing fine with those old credit cards

Then you invented this shit, please tell us why

What was wrong with swiping?

(x4)

What was wrong with swiping?

(I really want to know) What was wrong with swiping?

What was wrong with swiping?

What was wrong with swiping?

And I don’t wanna hear, «Well it actually makes it harder to steal your number

And it keeps you more secure from a cyber attack»

Well guess what?

They’re gonna figure out how to hack this shit too

And who cares?

Nowadays the credit card companies just fucking pay you back

Something that used to just take seconds

Now easily takes a minute and a half

Multiply that by four transactions a day

That’s six whole minutes that we won’t get back

180 minutes a month, or

2,772 hours over the average lifetime

So you sentenced each and every one of us

To 115 days in the fucking Whole Foods line

What was wrong with swiping?

(I'm trying to understand)

What was wrong with swiping?

What was wrong with swiping?

What was wrong with swiping?

Maybe you hate your kids

Maybe you hate your wife

Or maybe you feel that when you’re at home

That it’s strangling out your life

Maybe you make up reasons

To have to run out to the store

Maybe when you’re done shopping

You just wanna stay some more

And as you’re moving up in line

Getting closer to the cashier

Maybe the life you’ve made and must return to

Floods your mind with fear

Maybe you’d even sell your soul

For just an extra few minutes

'Cause that’s the only reason I can think of

You’d invent this stupid shit

Fuck you and your family

I hope you die in front of your kids

And as the light of life leaves your eyes

You realize just what you did

'Cause of your stupid way to buy

I really wanna watch you pay

'Cause all you did with your time here

Is go and take our time away

What was wrong with swiping?

(x 4)

Fuck you and your family

You fucking son of a bitch, eat shit and die

We were doing fine with those old credit cards

Then you invented this shit, please tell me why