Divided - X-EL

I’m feeling divided inside of myself

I’m fighting for more than just money and wealth

I write so I can help brighten

Mental health is so fragile but It can be heightened

At night when I’m sitting alone

I pick up and stare at my phone

When I already know there’s nothing worth any bit of my time

Medias creating us socially blind

I… live in a world that’s divided

I’m trying to guide those who are living inside it

With music and poems you know why I write it

Was given a purpose just searching to find it

I want to be great but don’t call me your highness

I’d rather see kindness over praising me just for following dreams

That I pulled from my mind it was not gifted

I was never assigned just to find it

Ya, ya, ye ye ye

I’ve been working my ass off to be the best version of me

That I know I can be

I got faith if you don’t then you better believe I’m not stopping

Until I take my last breath

Or till my last breath takes me

I’m signing my name in the book of rap so them history pages will know my name

Believe it fame or no fame you’ll know the name X-el

I don’t know where I’m going

Heaven or Hell

Fuck it it may not exist, oh well

But if It does I know I’ma be pissed when I arrive at the gates scorching in

Hell

Only time will tell I guess

But right now I have so much I wanna rattle off of my chest

Like…

Mom, dad how you been?

It’s been a minute twenty two years in the making

Honestly it’s kind of fucking funny to me now

I really wish you could see this devilish smile

That was brought to my face

When I thought of one of you seeing my name

In the city where you stay

You are not invited to see X-el live on stage

Or to ever say my birth name, na

Now that I got that out of the way

On to the next problem that surfs my brain

Why is it when I feel pain and want to feel normal

They pop me with pills that take normal away

How is it so hard to get that from time to time we just need a hug

Not these street illegal but Doctor legal drugs

That’s a bit fucked up ya

You really wanna know why addictions so popping

It’s from all the assorted pills and chemicals they’re copping

And when they can’t afford it cuz insurance is a joke

They’ll go to the streets for a taste of coke

And spiral down an addictive black hole

Then be treated like garbage for needing help… ugh… or dead

Just cuz they needed help

What else? Oh yah!

Alcohol!

The greatest past time of them all

Just ch-ch-ch-chug

Let’s see how many we can get d-d-down

Before we t-t-t-throw'em all up

Just to realize that you need to be home so you hit the road

Oh where’s the road

It’s gone I’m in a hospital bed ha

I’m lucky!

Laying next to a family that wasn’t so lucky

Sad to say you turned their pregnant mother to lunch meat

And to top it off she was eighteen

Bringing me to my next gripe

The pregnancy rate is higher than ever

Why do we think this is?

It’s sad cuz we sexualize under aged kids

Training their minds to know what the fuck sex is

We’re just fucking to fuck not loving to love

The passion is gone you don’t feel anymore when you touch!

Where is the love?

Where is even the attraction?

You’re just tryna get it wet when you have an erection

Now believe me, I’ve been there too

I see it, I want it, It’s like window shopping

When I see a fine dime walk by all proud flaunting

But now see the bigger picture in this life I’m living

Which I can’t afford to lose I’m already ahead winning

I don’t know if you’ll see it the way that I see it

Listen a few times

But I’d rather you see it than need to go deal with it first hand

That’s the truth man

You don’t need to be good at math

To see the division across the map

I told you on «This That»

The country we all live in’s a puzzle that’s been thrown away in the trash

I don’t think anything’ll make it better this is the greatest country ever

The Divided States Of America

It’s got a nice ring to it don’t it

Rest in peace to George Floyd

And every citizen that’s been murdered in vein

We should be building each other up

But instead we’re killing each other off like flies bugs we’re insects

Twenty twenty one let’s drop racists off the face of the planet

Erasing the curse

Searching a cure for this tainted earth ugh

Lastly… rest in peace to the Covid victims

I think we can all agree fuck nineteen

Suck a dick we’ve had enough of your virus shit

If you were a person you better believe that we’d all be stopping you out

Kicking you ribs and punching your face

Dissecting your guts by tearing them out through your mouth

Fatality style

You’ve pushed all our buttons

GET OVER HERE!

That’s the least we can do is to violently FINISH YOU

Then cutting you up into little pieces to finish the job

Finally clearing our streets an are air which we breathe

So you can now stay one thousand feet divided from us all

X-el, yeye