Talked Too Much, Stayed Too Long - Tim Minchin

Don’t wanna be in your club if you’d take me as a member

I’m not even slightly interested in whether I’m remembered

I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Gimme a tombstone if you feel you must

Saying «Here lies a clown who wrote some songs

He talked too much and stayed too long»

Back home in Perth I played piano down at Café Piazza

Swallowing second-hand smoke and singing standards by the masters

Learned that every lyric’s sacred

That love’s everything

And that three drinks make you straighten up

And four get you swingin'

'Til my crowds scared the suits away and I’d play my own songs

And then we’d talk too much and stay too long

(Talk too much and stay too long)

Moved to Melbourne with my missus after locking her down

Felt like a very little fishy in a very big town

Barely scraping by on corporate gigs and quaint cabaret

Playing keyboards in a cover band until three in the AM

I was never really suited to them top 40 songs

Cause I talked too much and played too long

Ha!

Don’t wanna be in your club if you’d take me as a member

I’m not even slightly interested in whether I’m remembered

I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Gimme a tombstone if you feel you must

Saying «Here lies a clown who wrote some songs

He talked too much and stayed too long»

Took my eyeliner to Edinburgh in twenty-oh-five (2005)

Played to 45 paying punters on the opening night

But to my surprise there was a rising demand

For a lovechild of Liberace and Edward Scissorhands

Dude from the papers said that digging me was wrong

He said I talked too much and stayed too long

I’ve played the Albert Hall and Wembley, I’ve played basements and bars

I’ve been to Hollywood and Broadway, met those A-lister stars

I’ve shared cigarettes with knights, shot tequila with dames

Found I’m more interested in laughter than in hotness and fame

So long as you got irony honey we’ll get along

We can talk too much and stay way, way too long

Don’t wanna be in your club if you’d take me as a member

I’m not even slightly interested in whether I’m remembered

I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Gimme a tombstone if you feel you must

Saying «Here lies a clown who wrote some songs

He talked too much and stayed too long»

You know he talked too much and stayed too long

You know he talked too much and stayed too long

I’ve been threatened with death and arrested and hell

I went hard at a cardinal who was feeling unwell

I’ve had them dogwhistling whiners send their dogs after me

I’ve been a bigot and a faggot, I’ve been smug and ugly

I’m a long-haired lefty joker and a smoker of bongs

And I talked too much and stayed too long

But fuck that «live fast die young» shit, I plan on getting rickety

Baby I intend to stick around til' all you pricks are sick of me

And when they come to wash my old man balls and feed me mashed banana

They’ll find me in the common room playing blues on the piano

Same old three chords and cliched fuckin' runs

And I’ll talk too much and stay too long

And I’ll talk too much

Don’t wanna be in your club if you’d take me as a member

I’m not even slightly interested in whether I’m remembered

I say ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Gimme a tombstone if you feel you must

Saying «Here lies a clown who wrote some songs

He talked too much and stayed too long»

You know he talked too much and stayed too long

You know he talked too much and stayed too long

Another white motherfucker rambling on

He talked too much and stayed too long