Lentil Nightmare - Neil

I am having a lentil nightmare

Everything has gone black

Except for the lentils in the nightmare

And they’re a sort of greeny, yellowy sort of colour

Ah ah it’s the demon lentil king

With his phallics of blood crazed virgins

Riding on their motorbikes through the hurricanes of doom

To destroy everything in the universe

Wearing horrible viking helmets

And driving much too fast

And they are probably over the limit as well and

I bet they have not paid any tax either

Lentil nightmare

Kill kill kill I want veins in my teeth

Kill kill kill give me some kangaroo meat quickly

Lentil Nightmare

«and though for long he had lain low in the quietness and in the

Darkness, NOW WAS THE MOMENT and with one terrifying leap he sprang out of the

Wardrobe wearing nothing but his Y-fronts and a pair of Wellington boots and,

spying

Himself in the mirror, he ripped in to one of the most amazing lead solos

On the tennis racket since Jimmy Hendrix on the Lulu show, his machine heads

Glistening as he stood in a warrior pose thrusting through a wall of sound

His high precision fingers reaching a searing climax and he did make mighty

Battle with the empty bottles of Tizer on the bookshelf, and he did spend

10 minutes in deathly combat with the duvet until it was vanquished and then

With stealth, he drew near his foe and in one all powerful blow he smote

The curtains bringing them down in a heap at his feet, and then he faced his

Adversary, does anyone have a mini-cab number?»