Initiation - Howling Sycamore

I stare at the void in this heart

It’s as translucent as raven’s wings

I listen to its sparse humming

It enters my mind, crawling like a snail

It enchants

I feel the primal danger of it

My blood starts flowing backwards

And so do my thoughts

I see the house I’ll die in

I don’t recognize the door

I walk around it

A red glow is blinking from the windows

I stare at it 'til I get lightheaded

I spew a black stream of doubts

I let go of as many as I can

Certain nights reveal more than lifetimes

Tonight I’m able to look through the walls I’ve built

I can see how innocent fear looks like

I let it be

I let my body deal with it

I witness levitation of my soul

May each spasm bring new purposes

I saw both the base and the top of this pyramid

I think to belong somewhere else

But I accept this path I’m walking on

It’s as silver as a wolf’s hair

It’s as lonely as a wolf can be

But at least it’s mine

But I accept this path I’m walking on

It’s as silver as a wolf’s hair

It’s as lonely as a wolf can be

But at least it’s mine

I see the house I’ll die in

I don’t recognize the door

Tonight I’m able to look through the walls I’ve built

I can see how innocent fear looks like

I let it be

I let my body deal with it

I’ll honor it with this ode to dark times

May words be dancing with clouds and rain

'Til even rats will come out of their nest

Curious about the light spreading up above

I’ll stand as close as I can to this wrath

I’ll turn it into a shield

I’ll learn to breathe around these flames

I’ll let them take over

I’ll learn to contain them

I’ll toss them into the void

To see how deep the fall would be

To count the breaths it will take me

To close this circle with a single brushstroke

And throw the ink in the air

To let chaos draw for me