What's Past is Prologue - Free Throw

That day I watched as they threw down some seed

In the dirt

Around the porch where I always sit and write about what hurts

It seems like some kind of sign, but I shrugged it off

With nothing learned

I always look at things at such a surface level

Although I’m buried in a deeper hole

Always wonder why they’re staring at the shovel

Not digging to save a life they all seem to love

Then two weeks later

The blades of grass were starting to appear

And when I noticed

I felt that inner voice whisper in my ear

«You need to change»

«You always look at things at such a surface level

Although you’re buried in a deeper hole

Always wonder why they’re staring at the shovel

When you’re the one that didn’t leave a note

You don’t need to stay the same

Have to work for your own change

Get to digging, let’s get living, we can fix this fucking thing»

I always look at things at such a surface level

And at some point I had completely spun out of control

I went from tied down to my bed

To tied up in my head

I was searching for redemption

But dug a deeper hole instead

I left a shovel for someone else

Never thinking to dig up myself

It’s a shame I hadn’t figured out

It’s rooted in the fact I never chose to sprout

With a new take in bloom, it seems there’s more room

For me to finally view

The world in all its beauty I’d mistakenly assumed

Was dead and gone

Now those days are dead and gone

Away

Today I finally learned to say, «I love myself»

Finally got out of my goddamn rut

And learned that when I truly need some help

Not to keep my fucking mouth so shut

Not everything should stay the same

It’s okay to have some change

If we don’t then we will never learn from any-fucking-thing

I learned to say «I love myself» today

I finally learned to love myself

For the first time in 4 months I can say

I didn’t think about my choices

Threw the almost empty pack away

I could feel my lungs rejoice

I’m finally breathing again