Jackass in a Can - Cast of Galavant

Well, another party for the fancy folk that get to bathe once a month.

Oh, that reminds me: Did you hear about the knight that got off his high horse?

No

Me neither!

Knights suck

They’re not all that bad are they?

Sure, they are

Worse even

Your average knight in armor, he’s utterly the pits

His ego’s so humungous, his helmet barely fits

He wears two tons of padding and thinks he’s quite the man

He’s nothing but a jackass in a fancy metal can

A jackass in a can

There’s nothing worser than

Some high and mighty jackass in a can

(All spit in their cups)

(spoken)

My master hasn’t had a sip of his port without my spit in it in years.

I got him cravin' it now.

I gave him two months without it, he said it didn’t

taste right

So, what about your knight?

Is he as bad as ours?

Uh, yeah, sure

There’s all that fame and glory

The smell, though?

Not so great

And then those big, long lances

Yeah, to overcompensate

The glamor and swagger

Yeah, I’m not really a fan

He’s quite--

A major dillweed?

In a fancy metal can

A dillweed in a can

There’s nothing lamer than

A condescending dillweed in a can

And who does all the planning

Yeah, and who does all the work

True

Who gets no vacation

Not one pay raise, not one perk

Good point

Whose third rate insurance comes without a dental plan

Your average, humble squire

And not the meathead in the can

That jerkface in a can

There’s nothing sadder than

Some over muscled, chauvinistic

Self indulgent, egotistic

Stingy, prissy, narcississy

Jackass in a can!

Oh, my God.

That’s me