Ballad of ICE Agent Ray - Tim Heidecker

Down along the southern border

Rides Agent Ray

Been working for ICE for ten years

He hasn’t missed a day

He’s got a big old thermos filled with coffee

Or Mountain Dew if it’s the afternoon

And binoculars too

Over yonder on the golden horizon

Head and shoulders appear

It’s a family of four with women and children

Startin' to get near

He flashes his badge

Pulls his gun

Yells, «Get down on the ground, everyone

You’re coming with me

You’re coming with me»

Ray loads them into his paddy wagon

And he slams the door

The kids start rollin' and a-tumblin'

Their head hits the floor

Up in the cab, Ray calls it in

Just another Monday afternoon

What you gonna do?

Back in town at the detention center

Ray checks 'em in

Fingerprints them, stamps and collect 'em

He gets the next of kin

The kids go this way, the mamas go that

The kids go this way, the mamas go that

The kids go this way, the mamas go that

What you gonna do?

What you gonna do?

Back at home after a long day of workin'

Ray settles down

Pops a beer, sits in his chair

He takes a look around

Well, all he wants to do

Is sit back and watch cartoons

Wouldn’t you?

Wouldn’t you?

Wouldn’t you?