Settle The Scar - The Hotelier

Dizzy drunk and throwing up,

I finally stopped my spinning.

I guess I figured you’d show up

With all my old belongings

Saying «there you go my friend

I’m sure you’ve saved another»

Collapsing walls around me.

I need some brick and mortar.

Took a swing at shortened cuts

Made a wrong turn somewhere.

Unprepared for fucking up

Should remind me I’m still there

And I am feeling sharpened splinters

Cutting through my center

To hear you as you’re coming around again.

You’ve taken pages from a book

You couldn’t see your face in.

Claimed the author was a crook

In need of illustration.

And you were begging me for more.

Did you get what you wanted?

The feeling in your fingers,

Right back from where you started?

You made a map of how you loved

And drew a perfect circle.

I scribbled a Venn diagram;

I guess I lost my stable hand.

And I am feeling long, cold winters.

I’m lost and can’t remember

The ways to keep myself as warm as then.

I owned your name,

Your body shape.

It sits like family;

A grateful offering

Reflected on the lake.

New slight of hand

Will trick my memory,

A veil on everything.

The paths that you could take.

You said you see life

In exploding color

Like the flash of stars

Or New England autumn.

I should’ve asked if you could stay.

I should’ve found a way around it

Because now all I see is grey

All trapped in memories that surround it.

And in your father’s summer home

He squared and framed the question.

A collage of news print on the wall

Makes me feel cut in sections.

And I am shaking off my chagrin,

Flaking snow, and dead skin

That buried me in all my past mistakes.

I should’ve asked if you could stay.