The Only Time A Fisherman Tells The Truth - Slim Dusty

Now you hear it from your neighbour and wear it down the pub

And you’ll cop it from your own best mate as he belts it in your lug

Now I have had just about enough so it’s come to this you see

And I’m tired of all this bull and scaly tales your telling me

Now I know it don’t seem right to you that I should feel like this

'Cause you’re not an Aussie through and through if you don’t drink fight and

fish

And you question what else there’s to do time away to pass

Without drinking skiting bluing and fighting for no fish and a wet outfit

Then you come in my house annoying me gabbin' who caught this and that

And I’m about as interested in fishing mate as I am in the neighbours cat

So take flaming hat and your faithful rod and your stinking prawns

And remove that leaking boat of yours off my flaming lawn

'Cause I don’t care if the fish weren’t biting and you should’ve stayed in bed

While dragging for bait your wife got bogged and a croc ate your dog instead

And I couldn’t give a horses' rear if your nine point five caught fire

'Cause the only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another a liar

Now take that old faithful trusty rod the one you’ve had for years

I like to borrow it for tick and wrap it around your ears

And just to show my interest in your interest I suppose

I like to shove your baitbox mud and all right up your nose

Now don’t get me wrong though I don’t fish I’ll nudge a can or two

But there’s for me in life you see than a romp on the ocean blue

And we’re still mates that’s ridgy didge but there’s times I feel I aughta

Tie your bottom lip to the prop and start the flaming motor

Yeah I’ve tried to make you understand and hoped you stay away

But I’ll be gaffed if your not back spruking again next day

So it’s come to this old mate old friend from the bottom of my heart

Take your boat an oars, your photo of jaws

Your rod and hers and your secret lures

Your live bait box and your old crab pots

Your stinking hooks and your fishing books

Your Dundee knife and your ugly wife

Take your favourite rum and your favourate flask

And do the obvious is all I ask

'Cause I don’t care if the fish weren’t biting and you should’ve stayed in bed

While dragging for bait your wife got bogged and a croc ate your dog instead

And I couldn’t give a horses' rear if your nine point five caught fire

'Cause the only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another a liar

No I don’t care if the fish weren’t biting and you should’ve stayed in bed

While dragging for bait your wife got bogged and a croc ate your dog instead

And I couldn’t give a horses' rear if your nine point five caught fire

'Cause the only time a fisherman tells the truth is when he calls another a liar