Cafe Girl - Sage Francis

We walk as two, but we’ll leave one set of tortured footprints/

Now here she comes… walking through the door… giving that look.

Since/

I roll with shook wimps… I'm shaking in my boots/

Kids are behind me eating steak and soup, talking 'bout beatbreaks and loops/

And I wanna' turn around… join in on the convo, but I ain’t got jack to say/

And it’s sad to say… I'm just a poetry fag actin' gay in my black beret/

I just came to this wack-ass café /

To drink an ice coffee and kill a bit of time before the matinee/

Why oh why did I need Cappaccino Cooler?/

Now I’m trying to avoid eye contact.

Lets see if I can fool her/

I put a look of concentration on my face as I scribble on a napkin/

Squinting my eyes, acting like I’m really serious about this mess of

non-sensical pen action/

A web of chicken scratch and ink blots/

Is she still there?

Standing awkwardly glaring?

I think not/

Look up… think again.

Shit… now when/

Is she going stop making me waste ink from my pen as I sit and pretend/

I knew I should have come with a friend.

I shrink and I send/

Myself into meditation… and I’m on the brink of Zen/

Is she buying it?

I pick up my empty glass… tilt it.

and drink the flem/

She’s STILL scoping!

in fact, this chick’s a 10/

At least in my book… which isn’t all that well read, but it’s been said /

Once she gets her grip on men they simply bend/…backwards

She attracts nerds, jocks, substitutes and student teachers /

Who all profess their love for all of her protruding features/

There’s no fooling this creature, she’s WAY fine/

So dope, I’d have to smuggle her across state lines or else pay fines/

What’s holding me back is what I heard through the grape vine/

She’s a non-conformist freak who only comes out in the daytime/

«Don't look at me.»

I can feel the burn of her stare on my sensitive skin/

I’m anti-social and I don’t know how conversational sentences begin/

Plus, I’m allergic to the medicine of sexual healing/

This impotence is sickening.

She’s sensual… appealing/

Now I’m covering up my crotch region by crossing my legs/

Lost in thoughts of whores in my bed.

It’s awful… so I’m forcing my head/

Into my forearms.

I should… invite her for a cup of Joe/

It would do more harm than good… I just know/

I mean… she's no Natalie Portman, and I’ve been kind of holding out for her/

Naturally… Now my thoughts spin… and she’s on the «out» for sure/

Gradually… contort my mindframe so no doubts occur/

I activate testicular bravery and I shout to her/

Our eyes lock

And time stops…/

She floats over to my spot…

And I say «Hi, I’m not/

Trying to hit on you like the way all these other guys jock/

I just wanna' let you know… I'm the type of person who lies a lot/

Sometimes I fart and I pick my nose like a maniac/

I’d be glad to front the cost of a date with you as long as you pay me back/

If we ever reach the friendship level where things like that are shared/

And I know my facial hair is weird… but I’ve been waiting for someone like you

to shave my beard/

I’m usually more discreet about my insecurities, but today… I just ain’t

prepared."/

In all honesty… this dame just stared/

And I was like «Uhhh…yeah…/

So ummm… heh…»

Nervous twitches were initiated and out nostrils flared/

Our eyes started wandering and I was rocking in my chair/

I just continued on scared that I lost her… in my upfront approach/

She looked at my napkin and noticed what I wrote/

…which was nothing

I said «The funny thing is… I could have used you as a muse/

Wrote you sonnets in iambic pentameter and then produced/

Mass amounts of unsent love letters and out-of-tune love ballads/

Some valid… but most just to get you thinking of marriage/

It’s untrue.

I don’t want to create a first impression I can’t live up to/

I… just…wanna…

She said «Nuff said.

I’m a theme park.

Ride me until the sun sets."/

So I jumped up on her shoulders as we exited the entrance