Queer Things - Ruth Wallis

We got married in the spring

To prove it here’s my wedding ring

I always think of my blushing groom

Whenever I see the pansies bloom

Oh no

Say it cannot be

Queer things are happening to me

A groom should bring his bride some joy

A boy’s supposed to be a boy

I told him about the birds and bees

But he still wears those pink Shimmies

Oh no

Say it cannot be

Queer things are happening to me

His hair is curly as can be

He uses curlers just like me

When I find lipstick on his tie

He says there’s no other woman, so it must be a guy

Oh no

Que’l Tragedy

Queer things are happening to me

He’s so big and he’s so strong

I can’t figure out where he went wrong

He must have got caught right in between

His name is Chris it ought to be Christine

Oh no

Say it cannot be

Queer things are happening to me

He’s never been to Gay Paris

But he’s as gay as he can be

His friends are sweet, they’re queer as Band

They’re turning my home into a fairy land

Oh no

Oh what a tragedy

Queer things are happening to me

We went one night to a masquerade

And I dressed up like a parlour maid

Everyone knew it was me right away

But no one knew he was the Queen of the Mae

Oh no

Woodman spare that tree

Queer things are happening to me

Whenever we’d go out to dine

I’d buy him Pheasant and Apricot wine

But he says «no», what can I do?

He doesn’t wanna try anything that’s new

Oh no

Say it cannot be

Queer things are happening to me

While I was walking down the aisle

His friends all stood around and smiled

I found out why and it hurts my pride

They knew he liked the best man better than the bride

Oh no

No it cannot be

Queer things are happening to me

We have decided it cannot be

I’m not for him and he’s not for me

He can do what he wants and I’ll do what I can

But the both of us

Have gotta get a man