New Year's Eve at the Gates of Hell - Ray Wylie Hubbard

It’s New Year’s Eve at the gates of hell

Give the Antichrist a cigarette

And tell him the boys are here all the way from Oklahoma

Oh Lord, what the hell is that aroma?

It’s Jimmy Perkins and the other sons-of-bitches

Who ripped off musicians and they stole their riches

They’re burning over yonder with the Fox News whores

And, oh look, is that the singer for The Doors?

Nope, my mistake 'cause no matter what they did

Poets deserve to be in heaven;

and by the way, kid

Why am I here when I wasn’t that bad?

I just didn’t like churches but I never wore plaid

Now I know I’m funky and strip bar dirty

And I like a Les Paul through a Vox AC30

There’s something 'bout a lipstick pickup

Plugged right into a Blond Tremolux

I guess I deserve to be burned alive

Since I pawned my '59 ES 335

And sure I drank a lot of gin and tonic

But I never threw away my Panasonic

I kept that turntable through my divorce

Playing Neil Young and Crazy Horse

Drunk out of my mind singing «Tonight's The Night»

It was as lethal on vinyl as China White

Now maybe one time I used an Ouija board

And I never learned to make a B-flat chord

So I got a double-headed snake tattoo

I love Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu

The action and the motion of a roulette wheel

And a woman walking away in a pair of high heels

Now once I drew to an inside straight flush

And I wished I could sing like Otis Rush

The truth of the matter is I really can’t sing

But I can quote Martin Luther King

His words are stronger than angel dust is

«The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice»

Now back to New Year’s Eve at the gates of hell

It’s kinda like the Beverly Hills Hotel

If you can get a table next to the fire

A sign says «Jacket and tie required»

The devil is bad and God of course is good

But there’s one thing I never understood:

God throws us down in hell for all our sins

Burning in a fire and it never ends

The decision is made at the highest level

Seems Got outsources his work to the devil

Like he’s an employee on the vice squad

Appears like the devil is working for God

I can’t believe I said that

I’m losing it

Did I mention Jimmy Perkins is a lying son of a bitch?

Oh, that’s good