How'd the Date End? - The Mr. T Experience

I picked her up at the specified time

I was dressed to the nines, and she looked sublime

In a pink sequin dress, just a bit too tight

And I was thinking this could be the night

At the restaurant things were in full bloom

She said she had to visit the ladies room

It may have been just a visit, but I guess along the way

She decided that she’d extend her stay

Did she ever come back?

No she never came back

And the waiter was laughing as I paid the check

We were going to go to the discotech

Actually at that point, that whole discotech idea was pretty much off

On my way out, though, I chanced to see

A girl at the bar making eyes at me

And I said to myself, «Self, this could be good

We’ll exchange smiles, phone numbers, and maybe even fluids»

So I bought her a drink, and I bought her two more

And I asked for her number as she walked out her door

She said, «555−5555

And I live at Number 5 Five Drive.»

Was it really her number?

No, it really was not

And a is all I got

When I tried to call it later on

How’d the date end?

Badly

How’d the date end?

Sadly

It was not a Love Connection, no siree

How’d the date end?

Terrible

How’d the date end?

Unbearable

But that’s not all, Chuck, as you will see

I stumbled around 'til I found another bar

Which was good because I couldn’t find my car

I ordered a scotch and I drank it down

And I did this several times 'til I lost count

They picked me up where I’d fallen down

I was read my rights and brought downtown

I can’t remember very much

But I think it’s safe to say that this date sucked

How’d the date end?

Terrible

How’d the date end?

Unbearable

It was the worst thing that you ever saw

How’d the date end?

Horrible

How’d the date end?

Deplorable

And now I’ve got a headache the size of Arkansas

So Chuck, I don’t care who the audience picked

I’d rather be killed with a big sharp stick

I’ll stay on my own, it’s my natural state

Whether or not I have a date