Carousels - mewithoutYou

On a bus ride into town

I wondered out loud «Why am I going to town?»

And as I looked around at the billboards and the stores

I thought «Why do I look around?»

And I kissed the filthy ground

And in the first dry spot I found

And I didn’t have to wonder why I was laying down.

Before long I was too cold

Took a bus back to the station

I found a letter left by a pay phone

With no return contact

And it read like a horn blown by some sad angel

«Bunny, it was me… it was me who let you down»

It was the shyest attempt I’d ever seen at conversation

If I didn’t have You as my guide I’d still wander lost in Sinai,

Counting the plates of cars from out-of-state,

(how I could jump in their path as they hurry along!)

You surround me, you’re pretty but you’re all I can see,

like a thick fog — if there was no way into God,

I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long.

And Bonner fair always came through the first week of September

But it’s already the 19th

And there’s no sign of it.

Yet I have a hard time

Remembering all the things that I should remember

And a hard time

Forgetting the all things that I am supposed forget.

Oh Christ when You’re ready to come back

I think I’m ready for You to come back

But if You want to stay wherever exactly it is You are,

That’s okay too — it’s really none of my business.

If I didn’t have You as my guide I’d still be wandering lost in Sinai

Or down by the tracks watching trains go by to remind me:

There are places that aren’t here.

I had a well but all the water left

So I’ll ask Your forgiveness with every breath,

If there was no way into God,

I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long, dear.