If I Were a Jedi (That Would Be Hella Awesome) - MC Lars, Brian Mazzaferri

If I were a Jedi, I could out-rap Busta Rhymes

Going in like Qui-Gon Jinn for the win, I could flow in quadruple time

And at the Canadian border, every time I went on tour

I’d be like «this is not the undeclared MC Lars merch that you’re looking for»

I could levitate like Yoda, I’d eradicate ebola

I could pick up girls, literally, even master the viola

I could read all of War and Peace in ten minutes

Entirely in Russian just to say that I did it

I could even catch that golden snitch playing Quidditch

(Wait, wrong movie, innit?)

Podracing up the 101, surpassing Golden Gate traffic (whoo!)

R2 on the roof of my Prius (dude), I could FaceTime holographic

I’d play for the A’s and we’d win every game

Resurrect Mac Dre do it all for the Bay

They’d all say hey Lars is neato

And always let me cut the line at El Farrolito

Two years ago, a friend of mine

Asked me to say some Jedi rhymes

So I said this rhyme, I’m about to say

I fought the Sith and it went this way

If I were a Jedi, bet I’d get all the ladies

I would mack it more than Dumbledore or Leto Atreides

If you try to strike me down I’ll just be more powerful

If I were a Jedi, that would be hella awesome

(Singin'!)

Do or do not there is no try!

Do or do not there is no try!

Do or do not, there is no try!

And if you don’t believe it you will fail every time

It’s a trap!

(x2)

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

It’s a trap!