Better Go - Mal Blum

Spending Friday night alone

I’m reading Campus frat boy porn

Strewn on the table for my roommate

When he finally gets home

But just one night ago, three flights ago

I’m back in Michigan

Another trip I won’t remember

Or appreciate much when I’m dead

Oh

And the hotel where I slept that night

Was surely haunted, then

'Cause every hour, I woke up feeling

So watched and wanted and

I think I remember that from when we met

Which feels so insignificant

Or maybe odd now to admit

It’s all in retrospect, oh

And so I spent the winter bundled up

Pretending I was sane

And giving up

The things I love the most

Because they felt like pain

And it’s so obvious

This jaded bunch

We don’t believe in ghosts and such

We watch the hunt incredulous

But cannot look away

And you looked at me

Like I was a piece of meat

So I was a piece of meat

For a time

But you were a vegetarian, so I became a vegetarian

Then when you started eating meat, I also started eating meat

And I lied to all my friends, said I was happy when I wasn’t

And you lied to all yourselves

Said I could give you what you wanted

But it all feels so much bigger than

Some blame-filled, lonely break up

Like all our narratives and mortality only distill to

Oh my god, we’re gonna die

We’re gonna die and maybe it’s gonna be alone

We’re gonna die and maybe it’s gonna be alone

And no one will find the things we left behind

Because

Because we

Because we never thought to leave a fucking archive