Could You Use Me? - George Gershwin

Have some pity on an Easterner

Show a little sympathy

No one could possibly be sterner

Than you have been with me

There’s a job that I’m applying for

Let me put it to you thus:

It’s a partnership I’m dying for

Mr. and Mrs. Us

Before you file it on the shelf

Let me tell you of myself

Oh, I’m the chappie

To make you happy

I’ll tie your shoeses

And chase your blueses

Oh lady, would you

Oh tell me, could you use me?

I’d shake the mat out

And put the cat out

I’d clean the garret

And feed the parrot

Oh lady, would you

Oh tell me, could you use me?

Do you realize what a good man

You’re getting in me?

I’m no Elk or Mason or Woodman

Who gets home at three

The girls who see me

Grow soft and dreamy

But I’m a gander

Who won’t philander

Oh could you use me?

'Cause I certainly could use you

There’s a chap I know in Mexico

Who’s as strong as he can be

Eating nails and drinking Texaco

He is the type for me

There is one in California

More romantic far than you

When he sings «ha cha cha chornia»

I often think he’ll do

But as for you, sir, I’m afraid

You will never make the grade

For you’re no cowboy

You’re soft, and how, boy

I feel no muscle

That’s fit for tussle

I must refuse you

I cannot use you

No night life for you

The birds would bore you

The cows won’t know you

A horse would throw you

You silly man, you

To ask me «Can you use me?»

Though at love you may be a wizard

I’m wanting to know

Could you warm me up in a blizzard

Say, forty below

Your ties are freakish

Your knees look weakish

Go back to flappers

And highball lappers

Though you can use me

I most certainly can’t use you

(dance break)

I’d love to rough it

You’d only muff it

You’d better track home

You’re safer back home

Oh lady would you

Oh tell me, could you use me?

If we’ve no butler

I’ll put the cutler

Up on the table

As well’s I’m able

I’d slave as few would

If only you could use me

You don’t even know how to lasso

A bull or a steer

When I speak to them in my basso

They’ll worry, don’t fear

I’ll be no bother

I’ll make a father

Like no other

If you’re the mother

Oh could you use me?

'Cause I certainly could use you