Their Kids! - George Carlin

Jesus fucking Christ, their kids.

Folks, folks, nothing worse.

Nothing worse than to be stuck somewhere with some married asshole and have to listen to him tell you about his fucking kids.

Let me tell you something, folks.

Nobody cares about your children, OK?

No. We don’t care.

We don’t care.

Nobody cares about your children.

I speak for everyone.

I’ve been appointed by the rest of the group to inform you we don’t care about your children.

That’s why they’re your children, so you can care about them, and we don’t have to bother.

But they tell you anyway.

“Todd is in the seventh grade now.

He’s in the cheese club.

Giselle is 5 and already she’s had nine periods.

Johan is 11, and he pretty much sits around the house hallucinating all the time.”