Telltale Kitchen - Eric Schwartz

The bananas lookin brown except for where I left that sticker

And the spice rack is empty cept for cinnamon, salt and pepper

The tea in the jar is ten years old, Lemon Lint and Chamomold

And the coffeepot is stickin to the maker,

Which is stickin to the counter

Soup-can sentinels guard the pre-colonial cupboard

With hibernating honey, tins of tuna and cardboard crackers

And now the brand new honey with the angel face

Wants to come over and see my place

And chewin on a grape slash raisin I mull it over

But I know it would kill the deal

If she saw my Achilles heel

Telltale Kitchen

If you want her to stay you best keep her away

Telltale kitchen

Telltale kitchen

The microwave is broken

The smoke detectors smokin

Telltale kitchen

Over in the fridge the mustard, catsup, mayonnaise and butter

Have formed an uncanny resemblance to each other

And the prehistoric bagels in the bag in the back

Are hiding from the dairy on the death row rack

As the fish flavored iceberg spawns upstream in the freezer

You would think that the sink wouldnt stink

''cause it looks like its hardly been used

But who knows what grows in the disposal

After years of beers half drunk get dumped

And no-ones fixin the water pump

Telltale Kitchen

If you want her to stay you best keep her away

Telltale Kitchen

Telltale Kitchen

If you are what you eat

Im maggoty meat

Telltale Kitchen

The blenders on a bender fermenting the remainder

Of a porridge of origin too ancient to remember

But mercifully the rubber cap is permanently stuck there

So the substrate self-perpetuates ad-nauseinfinitum

My ego is an ego sequestered in the freezer

Like an Eskimo they leggo for bein a grumpy geezer

And the trough-full of drosophila assaulting the falafel

Make the Amityville horde look like a hospital ward

Telltale kitchen

If you want her to stay you best keep her away

Telltale kitchen

Telltale kitchen

The garbage had grown

A bouquet of its own

Telltale kitchen