Head - Dane Cook

You always want head.

We love it.

We always have to watch, right

Right.

And if you’ve got a lot of hair we fucking turn into Vidal Sasoon

All of a sudden.

We got like scrunchies, banana clips comin out of nowhere

Hairspray *SSS* Good.

Good.

Front row seats.

I like that with the lips

The thing you’re doing with the lips is good

You know what’s so weird.

Why does this happen?

This is a weird thing.

Phenomanon.

Right, sometimes guys

You’re having sex, right.

And everything’s going great

Everything’s you know Right

All of a sudden you hear like a voice comes into our… our brains

Starts telling us to say shit like… Yeah say that!

Say that!

That’s perfect!

Say that right now.

Right, and you’re like Yeah

I’ll fucking say that.

You just grab her hair and you whisper… eghhh

You don’t even think about it.

Just say it ya fucking say say things

You hear what I say?

You like that huh?

Right, you say- but sometimes

You say some shit and you think of it like two hours later and you’re

Like «What the fuck was I talking about!»

And you get like embarrased

I was with a girl recently, right.

I was totally just in the zone

Out of nowhere I was like…

«Uh yea my dick feels like corn!»

Sounded good at the time!

She didn’t even miss a beat she was like

«Give me the butter baby give me the butter!»

Come on Orville Redenbacher… pop that pussy

We should just have an orgy right here right now

Let’s just turn off the fucking lights and everybody just feel around!

Let’s turn off the lights and play a game called uh

«Who's in my Mouth?»

What did you say?

Careful?

What are you like my lifeguard?

Careful… careful Dane!

What are you spotting my jokes?

Careful, careful…