Sex With a Stranger - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, Rachel Bloom

Steppin' in the club

All those eyes on me

But there’s only one path that I see

You got a tight-ass bod

Big brown eyes

Come on cutie get between my thighs

'Cause I—

I don’t even know your name

It’s, uh, Jason, remember?

Shh, don’t tell me, don’t tell me.

(sung)

Why

Don’t we just call each other ‘baby?'

It’ll be simpler!

Hey sexy stranger

Come back to my place

And I hope you’re not a murderer

Kiss me baby, all over the place

And please don’t be a murderer

(Please don’t be a murderer

Pl-pl-please don’t be a murderer)

I’m sorry I’ll stop talking ‘bout the murderer thing

Let me get back to playin' with yo' thing

You got a beautiful ass

Strong-ass arms

(spoken)

Is that a gun?

(sung)

Oh thank god, it’s just your penis

Have you been tested for STDs?

(STDs)

Tell me please!

(STDs)

Then waited a three-month window

And got tested again

Just makin' sure

Most people don’t know about the window

Hey sexy stranger

Let’s go to my place

And please don’t harvest my kidney

Don’t give me

That incredulous face

I saw a movie like that on Lifetime

Oh!

Your balls smell weird

Your balls smell so much worse than I feared

You haven’t aired out those balls in hours

Please go wash your balls in the shower

The bathroom is right down the hall, okay?

Please don’t steal anything on the way

(Don't steal!)

Hey sexy stranger

I’ll be right back, I just forgot to do the dishes

Keep yourself horny, stay in the mood

(spoken)

I promise I’ll be back, okay, see you in a second, bye!