By Jeeves - Andrew Lloyd Webber, By Jeeves 1996 Original London Cast

Bertie:

It is patently clear

Any awkwardness here

Can be cleared up in less than a trice

Our identity switch

Who is who?

Which is which?

We’re in need of some solid advice

There’s a painfully simple solution

It’s as plain as the nose on your face

Bingo:

By Gad!

Gussie:

By Gosh!

Bingo:

By Heck!

Gussie:

By Gum!

Bingo:

By Rabbit’s Foot!

Gussie:

By Kingdom Come!

Bertie:

By all my sainted aunt believes!

Bingo:

By George!

Gussie:

By Jove

All: By Jeeves!

When we’re faced with the grind

Of exerting the mind

We’re filled with a deep sense of dread

Bertie:

«How on Earth», I hear cries

«Does one give exercise

To a thing that’s embedded in your head?»

Bingo:

What we need is a free-range consultant

Gussie:

Where on Earth do you find one of those?

Bertie:

By Hook!

By Crook!

Bingo:

By Way!

By Pass!

Gussie:

By Sea!

By Air!

Bertie:

By Road!

Bingo:

By Grass!

Gussie:

By Seven Dwarfs!

Bertie:

By Forty Thieves!

All:

By George!

By Jove!

By Jeeves!

Bertie:

By Shuttlecock!

Gussie:

By Croquet Hoop!

Bingo:

By Panama!

Bertie:

By Windsor Soup!

Gussie:

By all those cards tucked up his sleeve!

All:

By George!

By Jove!

By Jeeves!

Our collective I. Q

Of around Forty-Two

Cannot cope, to be terribly frank

All true leaders of men

Delegate now and then

Try to keep their minds totally blank

To appreciate loftier matters

Bingo:

Things that go over my head

Bertie:

By Derby Day!

Gussie:

By Nursery Tea!

Bingo:

By Moose!

Bertie:

By Spoons!

Gussie:

By Half-Past Three!

Bingo:

By every tender breast that heaves!

All: By George!

By Jove!

By Jeeves!

Bertie:

By Marmalade!

Gussie:

By Bowler Hat!

Bingo:

By Toothpaste tube!

Bertie:

By Burmese Cat!

Gussie:

By Baby Newts!

Bingo: By Autumn Leaves!

All: By George!

By Jove!

By Jeeves!

Behold how Jeeves, with sleight of hand

Conceives a scheme so carefully planned!

Even we can understand

If he takes it terribly slow-ly

Bertie:

By Basingstoke!

Bingo:

By Cardboard Box!

Gussie:

By Budge’s Knees!

Bertie:

By Bassett’s Socks!

Bingo:

By each that conjuror deceives!

All: By George!

By Jove!

By Jeeves!

Bertie:

By Jumping Jack!

Gussie:

By Easy Chair!

Bingo:

By Bain Marie!

Bertie:

By Camembert!

Gussie:

By every fruit bat in the eaves!

All: By George!

By Jove!

By Jeeves!

Bingo:

By Walking-Boot!

Gussie:

By Thermal Drawers!

Bertie:

By Canapes!

Bingo:

By Santa Claus!

Gussie:

By all his mighty brain achieves!

Bertie:

By every spell the master weaves!

All:

By Heck!

By George!

By Jove!

By Jeeves!

By Jeeves!

By Jeeves!

By Jeeves!

BY JEEVES!--