On the Door - Amanda Palmer, Brendan Maclean

You’re on the door, minus one

You’re on the door, minus two

You’re on the door, minus three

You’re on the door, minus four

(static)Hey, Amanda, it’s Melissa.

Hi, I’m sorry to be calling you,

I know your show is, like, right now.

But we’re outside, and I’m with my

friend Chris, and he’s with, um his cousin Stella and she just came back from

college and she’s a HUGE fan and she really, really wants to see you.

Do you mind just putting me on plus… three?

When you want the door list, you’re pushing all your luck

The door list is for those I want to undress and fuck

So if you really love me, and want to see the show

Then show your coins and gird your loins and get your face down low

You’re on the door, minus one

You’re on the door, minus two

You’re on the door, minus three

You’re on the door, minus four

I’m going to do that one again

You’re on the door, minus one

You’re on the door, minus two

You’re on the door, minus three

You’re on the door, minus four

Can’t bring your little friend?

You don’t see my show again

(Generic children: Yay!)

Pay to eat, pay to swim

Pay for me, or don’t come in

Pay to drink, pay the price

Don’t pay me, that’s not so nice

Bring yourself, bring a friend

You can watch, while your friend bend

Take a hike, take a chance

Don’t pay for me, and you don’t dance

Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance

D-d-d-dance, dance

D-d-d-dance, dance

D-d-d-dance, dance

You’re on the door, minus one

You’re on the door, minus two

You’re on the door, minus three

You’re on the door, minus four

You’re on the door, you’re on the door, minus, minus

You’re on the door, you’re on the door, minus, minus

You’re on the door, you’re on the door, minus, minus

You’re on the door, you’re on the door, minus, minus

Hey, and I do actually, um, watch your show and everything, do you mind just —

(Palmer: No.)

— just ringing me up a list, I’m just with one friend, um —

(Palmer: The answer’s no.)

Just put me on plus two, no big deal, if you can’t, um, no big deal,

but that’d be awesome.

Alright, you got my number now, this is not my cell,

I called from P —

(Palmer: No.)