Seltzer Boy - Allan Sherman

Seltzer boy

Where are you hiding

If you don’t come right now

I’m gon' tell you boss on you

Oy

Don’t bring me water

I rather have seltzer

Cause water don’t bubble

And water don’t fizz

Water I hate it

Cause it ain’t carbonated

But a glass of seltzer

On the other hand is

Don’t bring me Pepsi

Don’t bring me a Kool-Aid

Don’t bring a malted

And don’t bring me champagne

I’ll tell you what boy

Bring me one scotch and soda

Then you’ll take back the scotch, boy

And leave the 2 cents plain

Seltzer boy

When are you coming?

If don’t bring that seltzer

I’m gon' tell Mister Meltzer on you

Seltzer boy

That’s better, could you put in a little chocolate sauce?